If you’re short of cash for your fast-approaching date, consider checking out abandoned warehouses, like this one in Liberty Village in the King and Dufferin area.


Making out like a bandit

Main street alleys are ideal for risk-seeking exhibitionists

by Jaime Jacques
photo by Davin Risk

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I am not surrounded by leering sots, I’m not paying stiff prices for weak drinks, and when I look up I see a canopy of trees, instead of the smoke-stained ceiling of another local watering hole. It’s just me and my man-friend sitting on a rooftop high above the driving clamour and skin-deep squawking that imbues College Street on any given Saturday night. Our seashell candle flickers and casts a gentle glow across our low-set, round wooden table for two, and we lean back in our chairs and contentedly enjoy another glass of wine.

There are few cities in Canada that make romance as difficult for small budget people quite like Toronto does. In a town where the new shining star of public space is a concrete slab with a few benches thrown in so you can watch an endless loop of commercials, what are the wandering and the wanton to do?

Fortunately, if your idea of romance has a little piracy to it then Toronto can prove to be a nonpareil of urban hideouts, where love and lust have equal and ample opportunity to unfold. With the good weather finally here, it’s time to re-awaken rabble-rousing tendencies, and who better to do it with than your current paramour?

As the aforementioned scene suggests, a great place to start is on rooftops. The best way to find a good rooftop space is to wander around alleyways and look for fire escapes. Follow them up to the top and enjoy. Tip: make sure you bring all the supplies you will need for an optimum date. As with really good drugs, coming down is usually more difficult than going up.

For a wooded hike in the heart of downtown, check out the Necropolis cemetery and the nearby St. James cemetery and crematorium, both in Cabbagetown. Silent, save for the sound of snow falling from the trees in the winter or a light breeze rustling the leaves in the summer, this is one of the best undiscovered places in the urban core. An untouched expanse of grass with the sporadic tree jutting up from the subterranean like a grotesque contorted body, it’s the kind of place that makes you want to hold on to someone tight and recount the ghost terrors of childhood.
Tag team the city on your bikes, and check out abandoned buildings, small parks, bike paths, and alleyways. Explore the waterfront, and follow the path all the way to the Beaches, or head out to Sunnyside Pavilion and douse yourselves in the public swimming pool when you get there, followed by a well-deserved cold beer.

Once you’ve got it going nothing keeps the libido running in tidal motion like public displays of prurience. If you sleaze around in stairwells, streetcars and subway stations, onlookers will, in typical Toronto fashion, coolly pretend not to be looking. When it comes to making out, alleyways are your friends. Those with a view of a main street are ideal for risk-taking exhibitionists: get off while watching the steady stream of pedestrians amble on their way. The thrill is not knowing when an unsuspecting victim might cast a glance your way. Hit up the gaping holes on the many construction sites scattered across the city and leave your mortal stain in lecherous protest of the soon-to-be brand new fully-loaded condo.

Contrary to the suggestive selling of pseudo-sexy urban establishments, dating doesn’t need to cost much if you have an adventurous spirit and an open-minded partner. Romance is fertile ground for creativity, and where there is play there is power.

 

 

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