Thinking beyond the Shuko

« I like the way you comb your hair
I like the stylish clothes you wear
It’s just the little things you do
That makes me want to sleep with you. »
– Wreckx-N-Effect

Remember les 5 shuko de Montréal?
Whatever happened to that initiative?

A Google search reveals an offline website, all-talk-but-no-action, and unremitting mantra stating: « Montréal is a UNESCO design city along with Buenos Aires and Berlin. »

I’m sorry, but Montréal is no Buenos Aires or Berlin.
However, it once was and can be again.

The idea of the 5 shuko was extremely well intended; I must give credit where credit is due and Mayor Tremblay deserves praise for this undertaking. Yet, where he failed is the reason why I and most of my fellow citizens have a strong dislike for their politicians: He talked, talked, talked but did not deliver the goods.

Or, that he talked, talked, talked and did not exploit the shuko opportunity as a springboard to go beyond the 5 challenges to beautify the urban milieu; to make design an integral part of municipal policy and not just a jingle.

And the goods, had they been delivered, would have been delicious:

• 1.  créer un aménagement qui met en valeur les verrières de l’artiste Marcelle Ferron aux abords de la station de métro Champ-de-Mars
• 2.  requalifier le mur est du Palais de justice
• 3.  concevoir un nouvel abribus
• 4.  développer une marque distinctive et une identité propre aux taxis montréalais
• 5.  concevoir le mobilier festivalier temporaire du Quartier des spectacles (according to Tourisme Montréal, this has already been accomplished)

Hopefully, la Mairie is continuing to work on these projects and either
a) They are keeping it top-secret, or
b) I am just inept at researching for Spacing articles.

(UPDATE : it seems the answer is c) none of the above. Although the shuko seemed to have been all but forgotten over the summer when this article was written, they have recently [as in the past few hours] popped up all over the radar –  I guess everyone involved in the shuko was on vacation during the summer or my e-mails to their office were marked as spam. In any case, good job Design Montréal for keeping hope alive. Faith, 1 – Skepticism, 0)

While alluding to this notion of urban design, we must recognise its civic importance. Not only does it enfranchise citizens, making them feel part of a unique community that is their own, but also, it trademarks Montréal – something that every urban centre around the world is trying to accomplish as they endeavour to secure the lucrative tourist market and workers for the crescive, knowledge-based employment sector.

Who said everything had to be grey and dull?

Referring to challenge #4, Urbania magazine had a proposal to paint all the taxis hot pink. I say, « Why not? » It worked for the Stade Français Paris rugby club (whose 2008/2009 maillot was so hideously beautiful, everyone wanted it). Instead of hiring Paul Andreu to design a building, maybe we should first get Max Guazzini on board to offer some marketing tips. Perhaps he could dream up one of those Dieux de Stade-type calendars featuring the cabbies of Montréal. We’re always saying how sexy our city is. Or, why not hot pink the sidewalks in Le Village? Create a sort of Gay Red Carpet.

Why stop there? New York paints their bike lanes green so that motorists are more aware of them. Why not do the same with Montréal bike network, but in purple? We could create inter-borough pride by marking the borders of each arrondissement in glittery gold on the sidewalks.

Who said everything had to be circles and squares?

Every now and again, I see traffic lights in Montréal where the red light has been fashioned into a heart. I say, « Why not? » Old East Berlin is famous for its Ampelmännchen; he is so cute with his petit bourgeois hat. Elsewhere, one can find Ampelmännchen with an umbrella, Ampelmännchen with a bicycle, and even Ampelmännchen’s hot wife, Ampelfrau. I propose a Feu Rouge Stripper.

Who said metal cannot be painted?

Imagine, the Jacques Cartier Bridge, impressive landmark in the urban backdrop of Montréal, painted black and fitted with LED lighting that changes colour according to various events like the cross on Mont Royal. I say, « Why not? » The Golden Gate Bridge, as remarkable an engineering feat as it was, would be but a bridge if it were not for the paint job. Now, International Orange makes the city of San Francisco millions of dollars in tourism revenue.

Who said everything had to look like a toilet?

Much like the Statue of Liberty was for immigrants arriving in New York, the Ville-Marie Tunnel is, for many, the gateway to the heart of Montréal. At worst, it looks like a urinal. At best, it looks like the Toronto subway. Neither one is acceptable; especially given the nice work we have done with our métro. Coloured tile work by a local artist? I say, « Why not? » Ride between métro stations in Lyon and you are treated to a light show. I was once in a tunnel spanning the Huangpu River in Shanghai in which I felt like I was in an old Star Trek episode: « Mister Sulu, warp speed! »

Of course, the city should not devise anything too distracting for the motorists. Safety first.

These are just a few examples of how little things can make a city great/fantastic/interesting/creative/insert your own adjective here. Yeah, they may be kitsch, but that’s why we have the pool of creative talent for which other cities envy us.

Besides, even if it is a bit outlandish, you have to admit, we all do like a bit of cheese. How else do you think Céline Dion amasses her riches?

What would you suggest to make a mark for Montréal?