American Rules

I was recently given this 1967 NYC subway rules guide by a friend leaving Toronto for Paris who needed to purge some old stuff before leaving (I counseled that Paris is a boring graveyard and Toronto is better and he shouldn’t move there, but he’s still going). It’s an officious little volume and has the neat old Transit Authority logo — very jet-age. Some excerpts and highlights:

Section 700.1 Definitions:

(e) “Firearm.” Any pistol, revolver, sawed-off shotgun or other firearm of a size which may be concealed upon the person.

Section 700.2 Construction

(b) Any term in the masculine shall include the feminine and neuter.

Section 701.3 Disorderly Conduct

No person, on or about the New York City Transit System:

(d) Entertain passengers by singing, dancing or playing any musical instrument.

Section 701.6 Toilet Facilities

No person shall use the toilet facilities of the New York Transit System to change from or into bathing or swimming attire, playsuit or attire of like nature.

Section 701.7 Explosives, firearms and weapons

No person shall bring into or have in his possession on any transit facility:

(a) Any firearm, slingshot, firecracker, torpedo, fireworks or other missile propelling instrument or explosive.

Section 701.8 Meetings

No person shall hold any meetings, perform any ceremony, make a speech, address or oration; exhibit or distribute any sign, placard, notice, declaration or appeal of any kind or description in any transit facility or upon any part of the New York City Transit System.

Section 701.12 Bundles, bulky articles

(d) No person shall bring or carry on the transit system a soiled or dirty article of clothing or bedding.

Section 701.15 Rifles and shotguns

No person shall bring into or have in his possession on any transit facility a loaded rifle or shotgun, nor shall any person bring into or have in his possession on any transit facility an unloaded rifle or shotgun unless such rifle or shotgun is completely enclosed, or contained, in a non-transparent carrying case.

Section 702.1 Penalties

Any violation of the rules of the New York City Transit Authority shall be punishable by a fine not exceeding $25 or by imprisonment for not longer than 10 days, or both.

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Neuters, playsuits, sawed-off shotguns, torpedoes, soiled bedding, singing & dancing — this is, I suspect, exactly what people in the Red States think goes on in places like New York City subways.