There’s an arresting scene near the end of Milk, the superb biopic about San Francisco supervisor and gay rights pioneer Harvey Milk, in which Sean Penn (who plays Milk) takes a call from a despondent teenager in a middle-American town. Struggling with his sexuality and terrified of his father’s violent temper, the young man has contemplated suicide but reaches out to Milk for help and inspiration.
In his tragically foreshortened career, Milk, a supremely courageous figure, met many young people in such dire circumstances. In their name, he set to work building a safe, inclusive urban community for gay men and women (and indeed for anyone who’d felt marginalized by society). Milk offered these desperate kids a chance at an open, and therefore honest, life.
With all the hoopla around Pride Week, it is easy to forget that the LGBT ghettos in San Francisco, New York and Toronto trace their roots to this kind of clustering of sexual outcasts. They began with bars where the doormen didn’t ask questions, rooming houses with landlords willing to look the other way, and stores, like Milk’s Castro Street camera shop, whose managers didn’t shun gay customers.
Most importantly, these communities served as islands of refuge for thousands of young people ostracized by the family members whose support they needed most. It’s not an accident that Sister Sledge’s 1979 pop hit “We are Family” became one of the anthems of the gay rights revolution.
This backdrop seems to have been lost in the controversy over Mayor Rob Ford’s decision to shun Pride Week. On the surface, the political geography of this conflict appears to be a confrontation between powerful and outspoken factions (Church Street vs. Ford Nation). When Ford is chastised for choosing not to attend, we’re told he’s turning his back on an important constituency and passing up an opportunity to build bridges. He’s the mayor of all the people, half a million of them will attend the Parade, ergo he’s forsaking his political responsibilities.
All true, but Ford’s message here, conscious or not, is about so much more than just the partisan politics of Pride parades.
By conspicuously choosing the company of his (presumably heterosexual) family, Ford has telegraphed an unambiguous message to teenagers trying to sort out their identities. And that message is, “Don’t come out, because I don’t want to know who you really are.” It is a turning of the back, and surely evokes the rejection these kids anticipate in the wake of the dreaded conversation with Mom and Dad.
Last fall, when Torontonians fell into the wormhole of the strangest municipal election in recent memory, sex columnist Dan Savage launched what would quickly become the It Gets Better project. He sought to offer a lifeline to LGBT teens contemplating suicide in the face of harassment at school and at home.
Many prominent entertainers, community leaders and educators have embraced Savage’s campaign, offering themselves up as examples that life does, in fact, improve after the misery of high school and insular, conservative communities.
Yet it also gets better because cosmopolitan cities like Toronto and San Francisco sustain vibrant gay and gay-friendly neighbourhoods that provide new homes, accepting families, safe streets and renewed futures to those young men and women who are fleeing from intolerance.
So here’s my question: if you happen to be a teen who is gay and torn and scared, what did Rob Ford (and Ford Nation) just say to you?
Photo by Ryan
23 comments
Well said. As always I look forward to reading the articles here.
Well-argued, but one wonders whether Rob’s even thought it through that thoroughly. Now his brain trust, on the other hand …
Does a teen who is gay and torn and scared even care what Ford Nation thinks? I suspect they’ll have bigger issues to deal with than this nonsense.
The mayor’s decision to not go to the parade was overtly divisive in terms of politics, especially for a guy who likes to say how inclusive he is on camera. But otherwise, who cares if he doesn’t go to the parade? No one at the parade will be there to see the mayor.
One thing, this is a mayor whose platform includes getting parades, races and charity events off of roads for all the inconveniences they pose to cars. Wouldn’t it be hypocritical of him to attend any even that closes down roads?
Hmm… I gotta say given that all the coverage of the Mayor’s decision to date has been with the slant of how shocking and inappropriate it is he declined to participate, I have to imagine a gay teenager would see Toronto as a safe city to be in.
Really, show me the one article or column or editorial in a mainstream news source where someone applauds the mayor’s choice… not where they shrug it off… but where it’s lauded as “taking a stand for what’s right.”
This is a mayor whose media-cheerleader-in-chief is married to another woman. Ask Sue-Ann Levy what she thinks of the mayor’s choice, and if it reflects his general opinion.
This is another “small-potatoes-and-no-gravy” story John. But, while we’re on the subject, can you promise us a polemic about how the mayor is anti-children when he declines to march in the Santa Claus parade in November? I mean, what kind of message does it send to the five year olds of this country about our city if the mayor isn’t in that parade?
R.
Sorry, I meant to say “any event…” in that last sentence. Don’t get me wrong, the mayor looks like a jerk for not going, especially given the flimsy excuse he’s given for his absence, but it’s being made into a much bigger issue than it really is.
“Really, show me the one article or column or editorial in a mainstream news source where someone applauds the mayor’s choice..”
Here you go, Barbara Kay at the National Post:
http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2011/06/23/barbara-kay-rob-fords-sin-against-the-catechism-of-gender-correctness/
@ Steve, Richard — The mayor’s decision to avoid any involvement in Pride Week activities puts the lie to the cottage tradition explanation, and thus casts his decision as a significant gesture. And it’s different than, say, a decision by the local MPP or even the Premier to attend because the city and its agencies — e.g., Toronto Public Health, the Toronto Police Service — played such important roles in determining the relationship between LGBT and the broader community. So the head of local government sets the tone. And he’s set the tone. It’s not like the Santa Claus parade.
Rob Ford DID march in the Santa Claus parade. And even here in pinko-town, he was warmly welcomed, because he is the mayor.
(I think the byline needs to be fixed on this post.)
Richard: Levy has expressed disappointment that Ford will not appear, calling on him to be “mayor of all the people.” And a quick glance at newspaper comment boards throughout the city shows that many are taken his lack of attendance as a sign that he agrees with their retrograde views on homosexuality.
The parade itself isn’t a big deal but, coupled with the mayor’s refusal to attend any and all events related to Pride, this is all very troubling. He must know that many in the city suspect he has an issue with the LGBT community — why not take just a small step toward dispelling that notion?
I think too much is being read into Ford’s non-attendance as being anti-gay or sending a negative message about LGBT issues in Toronto. What does bother me is the continued sloppiness of a man who refuses to act like a Big City Mayor. If you run for Mayor, and you are elected, you have to perform the job. That means making good staffing decisions, keeping an eye on costs, performing intelligent and thoughtful review of policy and yes, Showing Up at the Gay Pride Parade.
When Bloomberg, a non-politician, was elected Mayor of New York, he faced a similar choice. While supportive of gay rights, events like the pride parade are not exactly his idea of a good time. Eventually, as much as he would have rather been at HIS weekend cottage (Bermuda!), he decided to show up at the parade and did his job as every mayor before him had for generations. Ten years later, he still has to drag (pun) himself out to it. Here’s a photo of him yesterday – does he look like he’s having fun?
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/marchers_hail_gov_marriage_maX3EM8UPQ8jOoVh53eLgI
The governor just passed gay marriage and was raking in the political points, the speaker is a lesbian and was applauding the event, and Bloomberg on the left … read the body language… looks about as comfortable as Rob Ford at an all-male revue. But he rolled up his sleeves and went, because he is the Mayor and Mayors Show Up.
Ford has shown a real pattern of continuing to try and be a football coach, or extremist suburban advocate, or NFL fan, or whatever else he likes to do in his spare time for fun… but he is now the Mayor and must act like it or he does the office, and the city, irreparable harm. This is why I and I suspect many others are angry at him — it’s not about him being anti-gay, it’s about him being anti-mayor.
Ford is an idiot… but not so much an idiot that he would think that anyone (even the ones crying the loudest about the supposed ‘insult’) really wants him at the Pride Parade — other than as target practice. Some are trying to use his refusal to attend as indications of him being anti-gay. Another explanation might be that the invitation (from the organizers as distinct from the LGBT community) seems considerably less than sincere. I do think that he could have handled the the situation more gracefully by declining the parade but attending some Pride Week event. But then he’s not exactly a graceful person.
The thing that gets me is this: Lorinc’s column goes to show how willing the major media would be to spin Ford’s attendance at Pride as proof that he’s not a homophobe, despite plenty of evidence to the contrary. Samg is correct: most queers (like me) wouldn’t want him there, but he’d get mainstream credibility for ‘tolerance’ regardless. The fact that he still steadfastly refuses to attend is evidence of how dumb he really is.
If he hadn’t done and said anti-Pride things in the past, like trying to defund them, he wouldn’t have to worry about being target practice now.
If he isn’t really anti-Pride he would take the opportunity to make things better, even if he has to take some lumps, rather then make things worse. If he is really is anti-Pride, then what he is doing makes sense.
It only gets better if you work tremendously hard and have a bit of luck. I grew up in a great family and now live in Calgary. Calgarians owe a lot of our civil liberties due to these clusters in Canada that have kept pressing on issues like gay marriage. Gay Albertans had KD Lang and Mark Tweksbury to look up to, gay camps and a gay rodeo but didn’t have large gay pride or a gay village like other major metropolitan cities in Canada. Calgary’s mayor, Nenshi attended this week Khushali celebrations, and all of our mayor’s attended a wide spectrum of cultural festivities during the election. I think the tough thing is that mayor’s have to pick and choose what they attend. Now that laws are equal in Canada, there is more value for the gay community by participating in say cancer marathons or other volunteer organizations. In my opinion, people are reading way too much into Rob Ford not attending pride.
“If you happen to be a teen who is gay and torn and scared, what did Rob Ford (and Ford Nation) just say to you?” The answer is: go to Montreal. I am straight and in my forties, but I have an infant who I want to grow up in a society where the sexuality debate is over, a social-welfare state is a given, and religion-driven views in politics are an anarchronism. Sorry, that’s not English Canada anymore.
that’s right Mr. S, just run away to your little shangri la and don’t do a thing to try and make things better elsewhere. sounds like that might take a bit of work that you’re to apathetic to try. of course, you can continue to rub your righteousness in the rest of our unenlightened faces because it’s so much easier.
MXDX, sorry if you do not like my comment. I see what is happening in English Canada, and in the rest of the English world, as a degradation similar to what has happened in the States. Not only do I see no way I can effectively stem the tide myeself, but I’d hardly task a teenager coming-out to do so, nor my infant son. When a liberal experiment has failed, you can hardly expect that society’s outcasts to furnish the solution on their own. That was my point.
Pundits may dither about the meaning of Ford’s snub of Pride, but the homophobes are crystal clear. To them, the meaning is: “FINALLY! A POLITICIAN WHO IS NOT AFRAID OF THESE PERVERTS AND IS WILLING TO STAND UP FOR FAMILY VALUES.”
Just read the comments section of today’s Worthington column if you want to see the type of hate-filled bigotry that Ford is emboldening.
Or read the comments to Sue-Ann Levy’s column. Here is the most-liked comment: “Rob Ford deserves praise and a hand shake for standing up for his rights and priorities, in spite of all the silly noise from the gay community!! Who cares about them, anyways? Rob Ford sure doesn’t and good for him! Personally, I wouldn’t be caught dead in a parade with sick and twisted individuals who not only can’t think straight, but have their sexual preferences all screwed up!!”
I don’t care what Ford feels deep down in his heart. But he needs to know that he is encouraging the bullies and the bigots, and if he is any kind of leader he needs to shut this hate down. Because the next step for these bullies is queer-bashing and more schoolyard hell. This is a terrible step backwards for our city.
By the way, if Miller et al did not write Sue-Ann after she came out in 2007, then political views be damned: I say shame on them. But what Ford is doing now is far worse. People could get hurt.
Dear Mr. S,
What?
http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2011/06/21/quebec-soccer-referee-hijab.html
Good job Andrew! An old story from a suburb outside of Montreal proves me wrong so convincingly. Did you notice that Rob Ford is the mayor of Canada’s largest city, not a suburb?
You might also note however tolerant you believe we should be of the hijab, there are good liberal arguments against the use of it, as well as there are good liberal arguments for not interfering with the use of it. Religion is chosen, as an adult; sexuality isn’t. Try a little harder.
Wasn’t your comment about “what is happening in English Canada, and in the rest of the English world”? Or does “English world” mean “the entire surface of Earth except the island of Montreal” in your mind?
apparently everybody in english canada walks in lockstep with their elected officials, at least according to mr. s.
religion may be chosen, but that person was still discriminated against for their beliefs, but it’s old and such things obviously don’t happen in utopian montreal anymore…
Sigh… My last comment follows.
Rob Ford is mayor of Toronto, Harper the PM with a majority, and Hudak is going to win in the fall. Conservatives are strong in the US, and the UK, too. They get much of their support from right-wing religious groups, including non-Judeo-Christian ones, so they pursue hateful wedge issues. It works for them, and they’re going to continue. Quebec, like anywhere, has bigots; however, as a little thing like the NDP sweep in the PQ just showed (and many other things besides, if you do a little research), hate-based wedge issues do not drive all politics there. Imagine that, in a once separatist province.